3 decades ago, at Irama Beach Bachok,  I sat down with my 10 year old sister Roziah reciting my experience having lost my confidence and trust to my girlfriend. The promises and feeling can never everstand the test of time in a long journey of a marriage.I didnt chose ZB because I dont trust her anymore.I dont trust her family neither.And maybe it was the same the other way round.

My sister a very youg girl  was so engrossed and so anxious asking  questions regarding my relationship with ZB.As a child who sides his brother, she seem to be annoyed with the way ZB handled that delicate relationship.After cooling off and decided that ZB was not for me I pick up the pieces, started a new life away from KL Metro in Kelantan, a lazzerfaire style state in the east coast.
 

Life in Kelantan was more relax and accomodating and suits the lifestyle of any malay.People are more friendlier, it is a food haven and colourful state and life as a muslim is more organised & controlled.

I told my younger sister that walking away or pulling away from a wedlock or serious affair is not an easy task to perform.It takes courage & a lot of hope & I prayed to Allah for a better replacement.I dont mind of the broken promises or the shattered dreams, The pillar or any friendship or affairs of the heart involves a lot on trust.Thats what I told my little sister .

Her tears rolled down as I told me that her that ZB who is confuse continued her  affair with her ex..I always prayed that as long as my sister live she will never  to experience what I went through 3 decades ago ..the daywhen I unexpectedly met my girlfriend attending a function with her ex.I pretend to the other guest as if nothing happens, I smile and shake hands with a drink in the hand, but deep inside the palace of hope and dreams crumble to the ground.

After that day, thing were no longer the same.We met & talk what had to be interacted ,but deep inside  I was emotionaly withdrawn from the tracks and headings  that we had charted earlier during courting.

 

In the early eighties, she went to Teachers Training College at Lembah Pantai and I went to Aviation College at Subang Airport.We seldom met but still  correspondence took place.She had a new BF name R from Johor  and they planned to get married after graduation.
 

Later thing didnt workout between them and they split and once again ZB turn to me and since our age was right to consider a marriage , we discussed deeply the possibility of a as her parent had given free hand for her to choose.

However due to some disaggreement both of us pullout from the plan.It didnt clicked because the TRUST in her no longer exist.Her parents who once before  strongly objected this relatonship had to swallow their word now but stil I couldnt take her. It was a difficult decision.Without  trust/confidence  , dream will end nowhere.


It took years for me to recover from the affair.My wife use to tease and  joke with about this . The memories of those days are timeless as if it just happen yesterday.Anyway my younger sister who got married with her coursemate in Campus and currently had 3 children.I pray to Allah that my little sister Roziah and all my other sisters and brothers will live happy forever and after!