Pada tarikh 25hb May 2014 maka genaplah usia perkahwinanku 30 tahun . It was a simple a happy journey thru the period of time . Bermula dengan gaji yang kecil sebagai penjawat kerajaan diawal tahun 1980an , kemudian melangkah maju  tangga  kerjaya serta mempunyai anak yang telah dewasa & mempunyai keluarga nya  sendiri  Anjakan ini  merubah  hidup aku dan isteri ku menjadikan kami seperti couple semula - tapi dalam versi  tua.

Biasanya diwaktu petang , aku dan isteri akan mendengar siaran radio Klasik FM , rancangan Aku , Dia dan Lagu . Dua hari berturut - turut , ada segmen cerita kenangan yang melibatkan percintaan antara guru2 di Maktab Perguruan . I guess , the writer is almost at the same age with me becoz the way of life described was the same path I experinced during the early eighties.

Mungkin , Radio Klasik banyak menonjolkan nukilan dari profesyen guru kerana Hari Guru jatuh pada 16hb setiap bulan Mei.

Antara cerita yg disiarkan ialah percintaan jarak jauh antara  sepasang guru yang baru mendapat posting ,  seorang mengajar di Selangor dan seorang lagi di Johor . Oleh kerana komunikasi diawal 80an dulu tidak secanggih smartfon , Skype dll seperti hari ini,  maka akhirnya cinta mereka terlerai jua kesan dari jarak dan ketiadaan peluang untuk kerap bertemu . Guru Wanita yg berada di Selangor itu berubah hati lalu memilih seorang guru lain yang mengajar ditempat yang sama sebagai teman hidup nya  ...

Jalan cerita nukilan individu tersebut , seolah ;familiar' dengan seseorang yang aku pernah kenal. Aku tidak jadi ke Maktab Perguruan Sultan Abd.Halim Sg Petani Kedah , walaupun ditawarkan Kursus Guru Bahasa Inggeris kerana bimbangkan pada  'trend' dizaman itu  iaitu guru2 muda akan dihantarkan ke pendalaman Sabah atau Serawak sebagai lokasi perkhidmatan pertama . Aku memang tidak boleh hidup begitu dan, pada fikiran aku , kerja di Airport akan menjamin kehidupan aku hampir dengan bandar. 

Keputusan aku untuk kekal dengan jawatan Air Traffic Controller dan megnhadiri latihan di Kolej Penerbangan Awam Subang , sedangkan dia mengikuti Kursus Pendidikan Awal Kanak2 di Maktab Perguruan Lembah Pantai adalah titik mula bersimpangnya cita2 dan janji awal semasa bersama ditingkatn 6 disekolah dulu.

Sebagi insan dewasa , aku pasti dia terdedah pada pergaulan dan aku juga turut expose dalam komuniti kami masing dan perkara ini akan menguatkan lagi arus ombak dan ribut kencang yang sudah tentu menggoncangkan  cita dan cinta untuk bersama .

11th May 2014 is a Sunday , and on the best day of the week before the worst day of the week appears , people will run around within the states  , interstates or even goes shorthaul travelling overseas . Me , huh , I companied my son Nor Azrul Ikwan a teacher to his brandnew house to meet with the contractor whom we appointed with to carryout renovation and electrical works within the interior of his new home. Drivin in my 1 year old Preve Suprema Turbo  movin at the fastest speed when able , we travelled from Kota Damansara  using the old Sg.Buloh Road heading to Ijok before turning making a left turn towards Shah Alam 2 .

After going thru an old winding road which cuts across a palm oil plantaion, we reached a quiet junction when I saw a signboard indicating the direction to Meru , my memory race back turbo speed to 1981 . I was 21 years old then and a proud owner of a Honda Cub C70 motorbike , bought it from a small motor/bicycle shop at Ipoh Road KL and paid it on instalment basis for 12 months.

Then one day ,  just one day in 1981 without explaination , I  started the engine of the bike,  proceeded to a petrol station in Segambut  where I was staying with my parents . After filling up full tank , I decided to travel to Kapar with no hesitation . With the maps already  in my brain , I was confident that I will reach there with mental navigation as there was no GPS then.

Along the way riding through the busy Kepong Road to Sg.Buloh old town , I continue to analyze my effort , is it worth to see her again or is this dream worth chasing ? People change , enviroment change and in fact challenges in life comes in like ocean waves for everyone making it difficult to remain the same person as time passes. And this include my very ownself. Being  in love with a classmate since school days and trying to protect and materialize it   in the real adult world was'nt easy.  Z and myself  can no longer disguise ourself that we are school student living in an idealistic world . The race to build a career and a strong individual personal life has began and I failed to see it. I cant hold her back and the same to me as the world look much broader and colourful to me.

Rather that keep on hurting each  other , there nothing left to do than to say goodbye and suddenly I slowed down and stopped my motorbike near a village  just after the old Sg.Buloh town. Maybe Allah had other plans for me , still wandering to proceed or return home , I hop into a small cafe for a drink and  ponder to what I had done today . Memories , flashbacks runs reminding me that I may not be one for her . The strong basis we had before has weaken , and maybe  the pillars of love probably had also collapse long before this.

Kenanganku  dipagi hari Ahad.